Home » Random stuff » Passive suicidality scale

Passive suicidality scale

It's exhausting to go alone. Take this!
2024-07-24

OBVIOUS CW: suicidality and detailed descriptions thereof

People sometimes use this suicide scale to help them communicate their state of unwellbeing to friends more easily in situations of strong distress. That scale was initially created as a shorthand between friends and has no medical aspirations, as explained in a follow-up post in more detail.

In the spirit of the original scale, I created my own scale as a shorthand with friends, and will share it here in the hope that it will be useful to others as well. It is centered around "passive" suicidality, which is any desire to not exist devoid of any aspirations of actually taking action. It is therefore not meant as a replacement for the original (or any other) scale, but rather complementary.

The passive suicidality scale

  1. Life is great, and even on bad days I am managing.

  2. Life is great on good days, but I'm kinda struggling when I'm down.

  3. Even on good days, I feel like my joy of living is being dragged down by some latent negativity. I have to fight to keep the negativity at bay.

  4. Life is happening to me, I follow along by lack of other choice, but I'm not thrilled. This "being alive" thing is kind of a lot right now, honestly.

  5. I somehow get through the day but don't expect me to do anything beyond that. All my resources are bound by "existing", and even that is a tough ask. I still want to fight, somehow, but I'm very exhausted.

  6. "Existing" is too much for me right now. I don't know what to do about it, I don't know how to get through the day. Sometimes I just want to give up. I need help.

  7. I can't take it right now, I don't want to fight anymore. I'm daydreaming of falling asleep, for a month, a year, or longer. In the hope of a better time, far away in a distant future. Or a different life in a better universe. Please give me a break.

  8. A better future won't help me right now. In my fantasies, I fall asleep and don't wake up anymore. I have many thoughts about me not wanting to exist anymore, I have stopped fighting them. I am done with being alive.

  9. This is way too much, I can't take it at all, I just want it stop, I don't care how. All my thoughts share the same tenor: I do not want to be.

  10. Please kill me already. Put me down. Finish me. I need to die.

Can I use this?

Sure, but will it help you? Maybe consider the following questions to figure that out:

  • Can you empathize with the descriptions, and get a feeling for the mental states they mean to represent?
  • Can you project your own feelings onto the scale, and feel like it describes your mental states, even though you may experience them differently?
  • Does the scale cover a sufficient range of your different mental states? Do you feel like it applies to you in situations where it ought to help you?

If your answer to any of these questions is no, you are probably better off not using it. Find another one which describes what you need better, or consider creating one on your own, tailored to your own states of wellbeing. (For that matter I also recommend asking these questions about the Emmengard suicide scale, if you have been using it.)

See also

feel free to suggest more additions

Addendum: Talking about passive suicidality with others

Many people who are not accustomed to the phenomenon—and this unfortunately includes a lot of medical professionals who should know better—completely stop listening once they hear "suicidal". Ill-informed preconceptions and stereotypes about what suicidality is and how it actually feels like will override everything else you say in their head. Especially in the context of medical professionals, this can easily lead to harmful or even dangerous situations.

When interacting with untrusted people, it is thus advised to reframe these emotions in terms of emotional pain or subjective distress.

A big thanks to leela and several other proofreaders for helping out with writing this