This is a collection of texts and books that I've read which I strongly resonate with or which have had an impact on my life. Some I just recommend reading, others I think everybody should have read, and a few are a must if you want to ever discuss certain topics with me.
Posts and Articles
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undoing the pain – a guide to being free (PDF)
A wholesome text about healing, for people who are deeply broken. This is not your usual self-therapy guide. It merely shows you the map, and you will have to navigate the territory yourself. I try to come back to it and read it again multiple times a year, to see where I am, where I want to go, and how far I've come.
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"If everyone around you is an asshole, maybe you are the asshole". This text shows up an alternative explanation than this adage, which also proves to be a very useful framework for interpersonal interactions.
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Massless Ropes, Frictionless Pulleys: Coordinative Communication
This post talks a lot about how costs that are not measured are not controlled, how communication in organizations tends to be an unmeasured cost, how organization design affects communication patterns, and more. But its true value comes from adopting the mentality of finding unmeasured costs in everyday life that have gone out of control as a consequence. For example, finding all the small activities which my brain assumes to take zero time has tremendously helped me fight ADHD time blindness.
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Grieving is an important part of life which most of us never really learn. Not processing these emotions holds people back and prevents them from moving on. Most importantly, this text shows how grieving happens so much more often than just when a loved one dies, and that acknowledging the grief in those situations as well is immensely important.
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I'm a Trans Man. I Didn't Realize How Broken Men Are
Many trans people have the unique perspective of witnessing our patriarchal and sexist society from "both sides". And many people are not aware how deeply our patriarchy harms men as much as women, albeit in very different ways. (Also this is why I despise "men-vs-women" feminists)
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Tone-Policing and the Assertion of Authority
Especially because I am in a position of social power in several places, I take the issue of tone policing very seriously. This text is my go-to on the subject.
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What Liberal Arts Education Is For
Even when I was still in school, the "what will I need this for later on in my life??" discourse somehow made me cringe a bit. This text puts all my feelings on this topic and related aspects into words better than I ever could.
Books
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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents – How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting or Self-Involved Parents
Even if your childhood was absolutely fine™, chances are you this wasn't the case for many people you know and maybe love. Partners, dates, friends, superiors—This book explains both how to recognize and deal with emotionally immature people, as well as the many struggles of people whose emotional needs were unmet in the past. Moreover, I've found the approach of viewing all interpresonal conflicts through a lens of unmet or colliding needs as extremely helpful in many situations.
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A web book on the meaning of life, religion, spirituality and so much more.